Posts by Ghost of Esmeralda

25

Do blondes have more Success in life?

by JH in

jw
friends

just wondering.... .

do you think blondes have more success in life than brunettes and red heads?

do you prefer blondes?.

Ghost of Esmeralda

well i've been blonde, brunette, raven haired and redhead, so i can give you perspectives on all.

I got hit on most as a blonde. But I found the attention I got was from men who were more interested in 'fun' than commitment.

I have had doors opened equally often as a blonde and a brunette. This was before the days when I had hardware to walk with (hence people now open doors cause they pity me) where before it was more men who opened them to be gentlemanly. Often the gesture was accompanied by a smile, and a wink.

I find more of the male attention I have had as a brunette was from men who were more my type than any who were interested when I was a redhead or a blonde. People have always taken me more seriously as a brunette.

I will say this though; when i was working as a temporary secretary, it was much easier being a blonde. When i was a brunette, everyone expected me to practically be running the company by lunchtime my first day: when I was blonde, they were happy if I just remembered to come back from lunch.

Glasses add to the brainy brunette image: it's one I don't really mind, though.

In the end, sad to say, the level of attention i get from the opposite sex has a lot more to do with how tight my shirt is on any given day, as opposed to the color of my hair. Hats get noticed, too i've found...not that i try to draw attention anymore other than from one man, and one man only. The one to whom i happen to be married :)

~essies ghost

22

Does anyone miss those tuneful 'kingdom melodies' ?

by frankie in

is there anyone out there who cannot bear those appalling kingdom melodies we had to sing ?

i never liked them one bit, did you ?

so wonderful to hear proper hymns (not that i'm a churchgoer) but at least they have some fantastic music.

Ghost of Esmeralda

oh my god, as a musical person i can tell you that one of the worst forms of torture to me is to have one of those things stuck in my head.

one day my daughter was humming one after having spent the weekend at her father's and gone to the hall and i just about freaked out. needless to say, i put on something much more palatable until we both got the tune out of our heads.

recently i happened to hear one at my mother's (she was listening to the meeting on the speakerphone, something i didn't know she'd planned on doing when we went over there) it was stay awake, stand firm, grow mighty and for some reason the title made me want to giggle (i guess i have a very dirty mind these days) but anyway, my mother was surprised that i remembered the lyrics. course, i also remember the lyrics of just about every commercial jingle i've ever heard whether i like it or not, either.

there were a couple that i could take, but for the most part...i mean, could anyone possibly get through that one about Nazarites without laughing? "self denial was their role?" and this is supposed to be appealing? lol like the average hormone-laden teenager in the hall is thinking 'ooooo yeah, i want to deny myself, i want to be like a nazarite!" lol NOT!

~essie's ghost

101

Time for a 'bad joke' thread (groan)

by Simon in

.

how does bob marley like his doughnuts?.

.. .. "wi jammin"

Ghost of Esmeralda

what film did the cows rent when they wanted to hear some singing?

"the sound of moo-sic"

38

Do we have double standards about JWs?

by Skeptic in

jw
friends

do we have a double standard as far as jws are concerned?

yes, i know that their claims of being better than any other religion sets them up for higher expectations.

and yes, generally jws are judgemental.

Ghost of Esmeralda

i just love that little shocked emoticon lol

((((((((dedalus, foxy, little miss dedalus))))))))) can't wait to hear the update.

my private messaging isn't working on this thing, it won't let me reply so if you can, please e mail me at [email protected], k?

love,

es

p.s. thought a lot about this topic last night, and i have realized that i make more allowances for jw's when it comes to their behavior than i do 'normal' folks, just because i feel sorry that they're still mentally chained to the borg. so, if anything, i'm easier on them than i should be!

29

Why are you out, what made you leave?

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

so what helped you leave the jw's?

curious.

for me it was the itnernet and reading coc.

Ghost of Esmeralda

i'm with you, treshappy...i just didn't buy it anymore. since they'd had me since i was a zygote, it never occurred to me to question, hell, questions weren't allowed. it was like i finally grew up and when i looked at the watchtower fairytale with open, adult eyes, i couldn't believe it anymore than i could believe in the easter bunny. if someone had come to my door with the 'truth' when i was an adult, (without all those years of childhood indoctrination) i never would've believed it, or wanted a study.

for me the first 'last straw' was when the elders told me that the life of my miscarried babies was inconsequential to god, that they had 'no hope' for a future on earth or in heaven. "But," i wanted to scream "you say abortion is wrong and yet my babies don't matter?" that was the beginning of the end. I was 21.

The final last straw..by 25 i no longer had any faith in it at all, my father in law was a PO and i saw up close the curruption in the elder body/system of government of the congregations, and though there are good men struggling with what they see (who i believe eventually leave it themselves) the rest all just take the cowards way out and look the other way when women and children are being abused.

i want no part of any organization that has a conspiracy of silence. i will never, ever be a part of any organized religion again. i think they're all a crock.

this is why no matter how bad it hurts for my family to shun me, i can't go back. i can't un-know what i know, and i can't force the lies down anymore. i think many in my family have doubts, and shoving them down is making them all physically sick. it's their fear that keeps them in, i guess i realized that my biggest fear was living a life made useless by fear of men. i'm not afraid of god, and that puzzles them all beyond belief.

...probably making no sense this morning...

essies ghost

20

Haunted

by Ghost of Esmeralda in

jw
friends

haunted still, after all this time.

most of the time, i am able to separate who i am today from who i was five years ago.

soon, it'll be the five year anniversary of my disfellowshipping.

Ghost of Esmeralda

Wow, thank you Victor for your thoughtful, heartfelt reply. I need to read it a couple more times and really ponder over it...I will indeed drop you an e mail, soon ((((((((Victor_E)))))).

In case anybody wants to drop me a note, my e mail is [email protected] i'm having some trouble with the private message function on the board, i have one in my box and can read it but can't reply :(

hugs to all and thanks again, for everything...

essies ghost

62

Would you change user name?

by JH in

jw
friends

.

if you had to choose another user name, what would you choose?.

Ghost of Esmeralda

((((((((((Seven)))))))))) no matter what you call yourself, a "rose by any other name would still smell as sweet." :) If you ever do want to bounce new name ideas off of anybody, you know where to find me...

love,

ghost...or should i have called myself haunted?

38

Do we have double standards about JWs?

by Skeptic in

jw
friends

do we have a double standard as far as jws are concerned?

yes, i know that their claims of being better than any other religion sets them up for higher expectations.

and yes, generally jws are judgemental.

Ghost of Esmeralda

Witnesses sanctimoniously proclaim to be absolutely superior and correct about religion, morality, science, behavior, earth, heaven, death, and life. The look down on every single person who is not a Witness. They therefore deserve any criticism they get for being so much less than they claim to be. In fact, I don't think they get enough criticism.

dedalus, i think you're right on with this. it's the self righteous manner in which they conduct themselves in their daily lives that really gets to me the most and is the root of the feelings i still have about JW's as a group. individually, there are those i still think well of, even though they don't think well enough of me to speak to me *lol* weird, eh?

individually, i don't judge them any more harshly than i would anyone of any other religion who behaves the way they do. as a group, it's the superiority complex that drives me nuts. and they claim to imitate Jesus, who never acted superior in his life (according to the book, anyway) and if any of it is more than mythology,(which i doubt, but i digress...) of all people, he would have had a right to, he was perfect! so much of the time it seems like they haven't heard a word he ever said.

an aside...i've missed you, dedalus. hope you and the family are well, i think of you often. tried to e mail awhile back, but the address was outdated and it was returned.

~essie's ghost

"god help the outcasts, or nobody will."

20

Haunted

by Ghost of Esmeralda in

jw
friends

haunted still, after all this time.

most of the time, i am able to separate who i am today from who i was five years ago.

soon, it'll be the five year anniversary of my disfellowshipping.

Ghost of Esmeralda

(((((((((azaria)))))))))) a big hug for you! it sounds like you've been through a lot, i'm so sorry for that...thanks for your post.

((((((((((andie))))))))) i have thought about you so often!!! I had no idea that my website led you here, that is so good to know...sometimes i wonder if anything i did with that had any merit, but hearing you say that and knowing it helped you a little makes it worth it :) thanks for the welcome back. i'm glad that so many here have made such strides in their recoveries, and hope to keep in touch better with old friends even when i'm ready to drift away from here again.

(((((((((Dana))))))))) no apologies ever needed, sweetie. life keeping you too busy to be on the computer is definitely a good thing! you know i love you, thank you so much for your input, though you're absolutely right, i do make allowances for the opinions of friends lol. but life surprises you sometimes...just when i thought i couldn't possibly be smiling today, two friends from out of state called and said they want to drive up here and see me next week. driving all the way from the east coast, just to see me. wow. unreal. so even though my family no longer values me as a human being, i guess there are still people who do.

thanks everyone for your responses...

essies ghost

"god help the outcasts..."

20

Haunted

by Ghost of Esmeralda in

jw
friends

haunted still, after all this time.

most of the time, i am able to separate who i am today from who i was five years ago.

soon, it'll be the five year anniversary of my disfellowshipping.

Ghost of Esmeralda

Hi again all...some replies here to things you've brought up...

Hello Mary, it's nice to meet you...you said:

I'm not 100% familiar with your situation, but from what I read here, your ex-husband (no doubt a real good Dub) used to abuse you so you left him and married a (gasp!) worldly man. And THIS is what all the family is so upset about?!! What century are they living in?! I guess they thought you should have just stayed in an abusive relationship and be miserable the rest of your life for appearances sake? That's pathetic and disgusting.

You are 110% dead on with your assessment of the situation. He was horribly controlling and emotionally abusive, and though he never hit me or punched me, he used physical intimidation (throwing things, restraining me by my arms, etc) to get his way constantly, including in the bedroom. He demeaned me, controlled me, and eroded my self esteem until I was suicidal. But I maintain that to this day, there are members of my family who would have rather I left the marriage in a body bag (via suicide, which I came very close to doing) instead of getting a divorce and a new, and better life.

I did the 'right' thing and asked the elders for help, they compared me to Job's wife and said I needed to be a 'better, more supportive wife'. That was a lot of help...not. So yeah, my family must be living in another century or something; they think I'm an adultress even though I was legally divorced before I ever got anywhere physically near the man I'm married to now.

Thank you for the welcome, Sentinal, I'm what you would call an 'old newbie' in that I'm no stranger to this forum. Looks like you came on awhile after I left, but I was a very active poster here for more than a year. Guess I wasn't ready to entirely 'graduate' from the forums yet...back for 'postgraduate' work LOL. Thank you for your support and encouragement, they are very much needed, and appreciated. I will reflect on your remarks.

Ravyn, believe me I've been tempted to write to her, but I'm sure she'd never read it...it'd just go into the garbage pail so I may as well save the postage...

SS, I don't feel particularly strong these days, but I guess the fact I haven't caved to the emotional black mail and gone back says something, doesn't it? I suppose I should remind myself of that more often...

((((((((((Mulan))))))))) Hey there lady, you know I love you :) Thanks for not forgetting about me when I was away from here. The whole reason they decided not to have my daughter in the wedding was that they didn't want me to have an excuse to show up at the event...like I've ever gone anywhere in my life where I wasn't invited, they really, truly don't know me at all if they think I'd do that. I don't need that kind of abuse, you know? You're right though about it being a public place, I think they forget that...

James: I checked out that website you recommended and I will get the book. Printed out some worksheets to do in the meantime. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has helped me a lot, time to re-read it I think, as well as Dr. Phil's books. That man is my hero...thanks again for the heads up about Byron Katie.

hugs to all, and thanks again. I appreciate your input.

~ghost of essie